(axioo.com)

Let’s be honest; most men don’t grow up dreaming about the most important day of their life. They don’t mentally plan out every detail like what flowers to have for centrepieces or what colours the invitations will be. It’s a well known phenomenon that most grooms-to-be take very little part in wedding planning, and it’s no surprise that his answer to the vast majority of questions is, “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” In some cases, all the groom has to do is show up at the altar and the rest is up to the bride.

Whenever Fiancé tells people we’re planning a wedding, their advice is to do whatever makes me happy and to give me everything I want. They typically assume he does nothing and I’m doing all the work, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, Fiancé is heavily involved in the planning process. We do everything together. We share the workload. We run every idea by each other. We discuss every little detail. We consider what I want and what he wants. We attend every meeting together. We don’t make decisions without the other person’s input or approval. We even disagree, but we always try and reach a compromise that we’re both happy with. This wedding is as much mine as it is his.

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t get everything I want. Yes, Fiancé wants me to be happy, but not by acting like a doormat and always giving in to me. Fiancé stands up for what he wants. He rejects some of my ideas. He shares his thoughts and opinions, and he opens up about his feelings as well. I know it’s coming from a caring place because he genuinely cares about this wedding too and he also wants it to be everything WE dreamed of (refer to this quote). It’s not just about me — it’s about US. I say this because weddings often become just about the bride and people tend to forget that the groom even exists. Remember, the day is about the both of you.

It’s a rare thing to see a groom as involved and engaged as Fiancé is, which is why I feel very fortunate to be with a man who cares about this wedding as much as I do. What wedding planning has revealed to us is that marriage is a partnership. You do things TOGETHER, not separately. Regardless of what people think or say, we know that we BOTH put our hearts and souls into planning this wedding and that it wasn’t just one of us who did all the work, but we did it TOGETHER.

C.

(stylemepretty.com; josevillaphoto.com; bethhelmstetter.com)

When we started wedding planning, the first thing we did was determine our top 3 priorities. Number 1 was photography (read here). Number 2 was décor. We started the process of designing our wedding day décor at the beginning of this year. On a sunny Saturday afternoon, we sat down with our planners, flipping through dozens of magazines and books for inspiration and ideas. Conversation flowed as we talked about our vision for the day. As the hours passed us by, we talked about everything from table linens to drapes to lighting to chairs. We walked away from our first meeting feeling excited but also overwhelmed.

Wedding décor has really changed over the years. Today, the look and feel of a wedding can range anywhere between do-it-yourself charm to traditional elegance to destination beauty to contemporary class. Couples use everything from recycled paper to chandeliers to rustic frames to decorate their wedding. With so many options, how do you decide what your décor will be?

Start by browsing online wedding blogs for inspiration. Magazines aren’t cheap, but I suggest picking up a couple that you REALLY like. It’s a nice keepsake to have for the future as well. Even with these two resources, it’s still hard to narrow down what you really want, but it’s a good starting point to give you a sense of what you like. Stay true to your sense of style and taste. It will guide your decisions. There are so many beautiful weddings out there, but focus in on the weddings that stand out to you. Study the details of these weddings. Adopt what relates to you and turn it into your own. Never do exactly as you see. Go with what you like. Consider current trends. Save pictures. Create a vision board. As you slowly piece together all your ideas, your vision will become more clear, and you will see how naturally it all comes together in the end.

After months of designing, numerous conversations, and quote revisions, we have finalized our décor. It was definitely a long and intensive process that required thoughtful consideration and attention to detail. The biggest factor in all this was cost. If you take cost per item x number of guests, it really starts to add up. Will it be worth it? I think so. We’ll never throw a party as grand as this, so might as well make it all we want it to be.

C.